Remember Self-Care

I woke up gasping, crying out for you the other night, yet during the day I guess I forget to cry.

My therapist says it makes sense. I’m too busy throughout the day to grieve, but I’m always speaking out loud to you… 

and it’s okay to cry says the therapist and even my soul but nowadays I only cry when I dream of you while I’m learning how to adjust to a life physically without you, somehow that too seems cruel…

Things my therapist says…

Alright, let’s give this a GO!!!!

My services are now up and can be accessed through my Schedule Services menu on the top right corner of my page.  The website is still under construction, as far as the format and how I want my site to appear but I got a large part of it completed!

AGAIN A MAJOR THANK YOU TO ADAM, as mentioned on On Hiatus, Working on Transforming Blog to Website with Services. I FINALLY figured it out!!!!! Thanks for EVERYTHING THUS FAR, you’ve been a true blessing!

Ok, now ready set GO! ♥♥♥

My Last Words Will Always Be I Love You

With her eyes closed never to open again

She speaks, she says, I love you too.

She soothed my soul forever with those lasting three words. 

May I never forget to tell you how much you’re loved, no matter how long I’ve known you

A minute, 3 weeks, or all of my life

I’ll always depart with I love you. 
-Amber Choisella 

Love Advice From Babe

Babe, how did you know Grandpa was “The One” I asked her.

She said, I knew he was the one by the way that he provided for me. He took care of me, that’s how I knew.

That’s how I knew he was the one.

I never need to ask he always knows what to do and what I need almost telepathically, no not materialistically and that’s the difference between a partner and a boyfriend… need more of an explanation, no problem I’ll be happy to explain.

Partnerships are an equal exchange of many sorts, yet most importantly they’re your biggest support. Uplifting you along the way, no cracks within the sidewalks, always available to wipe your tears, there with you to fight your fears, and most importantly loves you unconditionally, faithfully, and honestly. Relationships are work but more of a growth than an upkeep. He’s not perfect nor do I need him to be. At most he’s the best for me.

Thanks Babe, now I understand. I love that you had a chance to meet and spend sometime with him and I. Because of you, I know the meaning of love both self and towards loving others.

I miss you. I love you.

Babe.jpg
Babe, my Queen.

Swimming Beside Fish

You know, I could pop a pill or two,  take a drink or two, or maybe smoke a blunt or two, not to erase my sorrows but to sink further within them…. it’s tempting

YET, because of his love for me he knew where I needed to be… out within the trees, allowing me to breathe, climbing underneath a bridge of the trail to a creek. So I can go beneath and cry…

Re-taught me how to swim, he helped me find my equilibrium.

Right Back To You

Back in the day, before there was love
Before there was us, before I knew what
It really meant to have me somebody
Who’s really there giving there all for me

Back in the day, I didn’t know none
Before we was one, I learned on the run
What it would take to keep our hearts happy
Straight to the end, can’t let this chance pass me

Baby, we made mistakes
But I see just what it takes
The last thing I want us to make
Is steps that we’ll take us far from our fate

Boy, how can something so clear
Just push back something so near
Now I don’t want to be cause of your tears
Your worries, your fears should all disappear, baby

There’s no need to worry
Just that I am ready
Even when I’m away my heart
Stands right back here with you

Whenever you call, 
My heart reaches back for you
No matter how far away
My heart runs right back to you

Back in the day I would have just ran
But now here I stand, I’m making these plans
What’s in a day if you’re not my future?
Why give these words if they do not move ya?

I wanna just build, I wanna just heal
Those negative feels when out on the field
Most of my boys think that I’ve gone crazy
‘Cause since I met you, none of these girls faze me

Baby, it’s you I hold, lately it’s hard to let go
It’s crazy even when I know
That I just have to go, I can’t pull to the door

I know it has to be love, you fell down from up above
As if you came down here just for me
To somehow help me see how heaven can be

-Eric Roberson

In Passing…

Breaths are a major part of our existence, if you didn’t know

It brings life and energy.

It allows us to transcend and leave, whether temporarily or permanently.

And it’s never easy but necessary and still we grieve…

Numbness, exhaustion, this will never end

So don’t fear it. Accept and move within it for it’s only inevitable.

Inhale, exhale, leave one existence and continue onward within the next

Sooner than later I’ll see you again…

 

Amber Choisella

For The World

And I’ve always felt different I never felt like I have a really belonged anywhere so I’ve always been within myself.Yet it hasn’t really been a problem until I start to speak my truth, my beliefs then I’m attacked or so it seems. 

I don’t know, all I see is people killing people, humans killing humans and for what exactly? 

Color, religion, sexual orientation, money ? It’s all wrong so wrong. And at the end of the day who wins? No one.

All this division all the separation for what, no real concrete reason? It’s just back and forth and back and forth no real solution no real resolution we must come together it’s the only conclusion. 

Anger fuels anger when is it going to stop we’re killing each other,

we’re killing the World. 

When will the World fully wake up and realize this? All the answers live within our God-Consciousness. I pray for the world, I send healing energy to the World for its people because I know one day they’ll come to see, they’ll come to see.