Mendocino

Scent from the trees, the air, and everything that is there

Or here within my mind, is Everything. Your touch is something

Similar to that of the redwood trees I love to see, love to in be tune with.

Not the drive through ones, the ones that sit quietly on the side of the road

In the middle of the forest. You’re just as quiet and calm, with you

I find balance.

If You Could Really See Me…

It is never enough to be beautiful, physically as if that’s everything.

I need independence, space, and acknowledgement that I am more than BEAUTY.

More than turn around and lemme see that booty, thick thighs and a pretty face, a piece of societal waste.

Never. What color is my aura, can you feel me feeling you? Energy and understanding; growth, that’s everything.

Illuminate, educate, meditate, really just vibe and build with me. Definition of Intimacy.

 

Pain is Growth.

It all appeared like he after he never could match me completely. It’s either he was too insecure, not mature enough, or too into himself to see who I really am. After the last experience I swore I would change and not repeat the same lessons… hmmm, mistakes?

Mistakes are gifts not so much in disguise. Without mistakes, what are you actually learning from other from being instructed?

I gave up on falling in love, it caused too many deaths. I gave up on finding an equal, but in doing so I released all my expectations, so I expected nothing in return.

Time was all I needed. Time to grow, time to learn, time to ultimately overcome all the darkness I allowed in. Responsibility, I owe that. Defiance, I owe that; defiant to never again repeat certain lessons.

Only then I was able to attract what I would’ve never been able to see before I closed many dark doors… if it matters at all, every dark corner of deaths I’ve been reborn from, became the greatest lessons I’ve ever learned from. Thank you all first degree murders for killing a part of me so that the lotus within could ascend.

 

Winter 2013

Attempted murder. Stabbed and left me alone to bleed.

No doubt, death would’ve been best. Alone. I never

again believed in love. He said he could never be the man

I deserved, I never understood why, but he was right.

He wasn’t man enough for me but he was man enough for

her. Well deserved. Applaud. Thank you for giving me less than

because you could. That was the last time I swore I would fall in love.

Love, what is that, with another, that vulnerability, to fall within?

That was years ago yet I’ve never loved another like I loved him,

the greatest sin, but I’m ready, I think ….

To love like I loved him, but better this time, more complete.

Tranquility.  I’m not who I was nor who you think I should be.

Winter 2013 should have killed me, but instead it led me free…..

 

Stranger

I first met you in a bar, it wasn’t trashy or classy it just was.

You shined, yet I didn’t recognize you at first. Mate of the Soul.

Remember our purpose before we chose to enter this world?

At some point we would enter each other’s path, surprise

We’re on track…..and I love you as I’ve always have eternally.

Let’s go uplift the world soul that is a mate.

Appearance of Love

For years I knew what I thought how you would feel like.

Love, you’ve been so unkind and I wonder if you ever could

Ever be mine. Scars, disgrace, undermining, I believed that was you.

Love. I had to grow, had to learn self-love, personal truth.

My third eye opened and now everything is clear.

Love, you’re different but exactly who you should be.